The Space Between: Conversations that transform

What is the purpose, the goal, for our conversations with one another, with youth, with the stranger?  Do we seek to have a conversation with them in the hope that there will be an opportunity to present our viewpoint and win them to our side (i.e. get them into our church or our politics).  Or do we have a conversation with the other with an openness to the possibility of who the other is without imposing ourselves upon them; discovering their personhood and the possibility of what their person can become in a relationship with the God who is love? 

I’ve been in many conversations with youth where I’m bombarded with all kinds of issues and problems that I want to fix; say the right words to heal them.  I’ve been other conversations with youth and young adults where I attempt to steer the conversation in a direction that relates to my pre-existing, hidden agenda that I supposedly received from the Lord.  In either case I’m forcing these young people into a predefined context of my own creation that doesn’t allow the work of the Holy Spirit to transform them into the people God is calling them to be.  Conversation with the other is truly transformative if it’s open to the possibilities that can emerge from what is happening in the heart of the other person and the work of the Holy Spirit.  But, this is only possible if we’re willing to let go of our agendas and be open to the Holy Spirit.

I once invited a group of young men to a time of prayer that was based on a more liturgical model.  We’d light a candle and some incense and read some prayers together and then have a time of confession.  Most of them weren’t into church but they readily came to this prayer time.  Unfortunately, I was being driven by a desire to create a liturgy that had all the elements of a church service in it so I constantly changed things.  I failed to miss what the Holy Spirit was doing in the hearts of these youth and what they needed for their healing and relationship with Christ.  I was more concerned about having a “correct” liturgy that accomplished various “spiritual” tasks than I was in creating a journey that connected with where they were at in life and was appropriate for them at the time.  The group eventually fell apart. 

Too often we impose models upon a local community or group of youth that’s been done somewhere else.  It might be a great model for another location but it’s horrible for our location because the people are different, their stories are different, their experiences are different and so the model forces them into a box instead of allowing them to explore their relationship with God.  Just because a church has a mega youth group with a mega program and budget doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for another church. 

The space between a person that embodies the reality of the death and resurrection of Christ and the other is a space of contextualization and transformation.  We enter into relationship with the other out of love and learn to know who they are and how they see the world.  In this process of entering into the world of the other we carry Christ in our hearts who shapes and forms the conversations that we have.  But, these conversations seek to uncover the reality of Christ in the other creating possibilities for relationships.  As the faith, the love of God, is embodied in the conversation of the giver the receiver internalizes this reality and (re)forms into an authentic expression of faith within their context. 

So the next time your engaging a group fo youth whether they’ve been in church all their lives or don’t know who Jesus is remember that your task, calling and goal is not to impose your ways upon them.  Instead, we are all called to embody and live out an authentic relationship with the God who is love by entering into a relationship with the other that recieves them as they are while being open to the space between us and them to have a conversation. 

~ by rodmarmis on February 6, 2008.